Spirit Grooves Blogs

Published on July 23, 2013

"Chatty Cathy" I am not these days, probably too much going on around here with the merger and all. Not sleeping much either. I try to sleep, but here I am, awake. I am not one of those folks who lies on their back in the night, unable to sleep, staring at the ceiling. I hate that.

The inner noise of all of this activity taking place in my life at this time is so high that it (apparently) drowns out whatever might otherwise percolate up from my inner self. I would have to slow down and let the mind rest for any fresh ideas to reach my consciousness, much less have the kind of mental space and time to write about them. That tells me something right there.

It would seem that I must have (be) a happy medium for my inner life to flourish. On the one hand, speed me up and the increased noise pixilates my mind, and on the other bum me out and I close up like one of those night-blooming flowers. Either way I'm not very present.

Since they have not invented a meter for these things, I have to be my own meter and just observe. I'm doing that and about all that I see is that I can't see well just now. How's that for seeing.

The old phrase "beside myself" takes on new meaning. I am here, but out of joint, somehow out-of-phase, or as I just pointed out, I'm beside myself with all the changes going on. I'm here but I'm not.

The Tibetans have a concept that might be related to what I am feeling now called the "La." The "La" is something like the emotional result of the body of our personality, what we call our "self." It does not survive death. At times, so the Tibetans point out, we can get separated from our La, and we feel out of sorts.

Somehow we can't seem to get back into our body and feel normal. We are beside our self or worse yet, we actually feel at a real loss. I have written about this in detail before, so I won't go into much detail here.

Anyway, I am a little beside myself these days, not quite all one. All of my various bodies (mental, emotional, physical, etc.) are not quite aligned properly. Something is out of order or alignment.

Usually the way to get back into my body is to take a nap or in some way relax, and the various modalities or bodies manage to regroup or rejoin one another. They naturally come back together in time, usually.

Be that as it may, I am now in a state of alert or excitement, enough so to propel me out of my body where I can notice it. Or, as I phrased it earlier, there is enough outside excitement noise roaring through my mind to drown out anything more subtle. I'm in a wind tunnel.

There, I said something. And even this little bit of writing is grounding. I can feel it pulling my various parts more into alignment.

Now, if I could only sleep!

[Recent photo of a tiny fly, being exactly what he is.]